memes funny friendship quotes 

“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.”

—Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey), Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

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.“There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test.”

—Dowager Countess Violet Crawley (Maggie Smith), Downton Abbey

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Women’s friendships can be like a source of renewable power.

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True friendship is rarer than true love.

“The only way you can have a friend is to be one.”

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“It’s not true that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. It’s your best friends who will be your diamonds.”

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“Friendship is the golden thread which ties all of the world’s hearts.”

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“Some people come and make such an impact on your life that you cannot even remember what it was like without them.”

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“A friend is a good friend who knows your best stories. But a best friend has lived them with me.”

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When You And Your Best Friend Just Discussed Something Extremely Weird

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“Friendship is formed when one person tells another, “You too?” “I thought I was the only one.

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“The best discovery true friends make is that they can both grow apart without becoming apart.

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“True friendship resists distance, time, and silence.”

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Walking with a friend in darkness is better than walking in the light alone.

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“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”

—Michael Scott (Steve Carrell), The Office

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“I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”

—Anonymous

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“I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.”

—Anonymous

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“A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.”

—Graham Norton

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“I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.”

—Rodney Dangerfield

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“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”

—Les Dawson

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“There’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.”

—Surgeon (Graham Chapman), Monty Python’s Flying Circus

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We are best friends. Remember that I will always pick you up if you fall…after I have finished laughing.

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Friendship should be built on the foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, and inappropriateness.

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You can have everything if you have weird friends.

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I would take a bullet to save you. But not in the head. Not in the head, but in the leg or some other part.

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I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.”

—Jimmy Kimmel

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“Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond, but it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.”

—Pete (Paul Rudd), Knocked Up

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 “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

—Jack Handey

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Bob: “Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.”

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Peter: “I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.”

—Bob (Paul Wilson) and Peter (Ron Livingston), Office Space